Gentle Fellows,
Consider my plea. I write to you and your sensibility. We must acknowledge the degradation of a man. This a man we all encourage and respect. Yet, this is a man stuck in an incorrigible state. I cite for you Jeffrey Michael Long. A lamentable married man within six months' time. We must, as a point of paramount significance, acknowledge his fate with ritual madness.
The bacchanalia is imminent. Don your fox-skins. Restore your fervor. The locale is Chicago, Illinois. The Jeff Long Stag will commence Friday, June 12th, 2009 and will dismantle June 14th, 2009. As the witching hours draw nearer, I'll have more concrete details to share.
The night of the 12th will be a righteous reunion for many. Dinner, drinks, stories, urban decor. On the 13th, we'll go to a Cubbies game at Wrigley Field with the Twin City sluggers in town. The night of the 13th we'll surround Coach Long with admiring and affectionate friends, and it'll be true that, on this exclusive occasion, he will regard the 13th as a hapless man's lucky day.
In the interest of preparation, please contact me shortly by email with your intended status. I will rely on your collective size to seek out hotel accommodations, restaurant venues, ticket options, and other items to propose a workable budget. However, I leave you to finalize your own travel arrangements to and from Chicago. With many guests arriving from out-of-state, we'll likely see a unique blend of planes, trains, and automobiles.
You should feel compelled to contact me with your suggestions, questions, and enthusiasm. Apart from email, my cell phone number is 650 861 0616.
Let us part briefly with a quote from the bachelor himself, "I've never had a bad time in the windy city." We have the power to make him omniscient.
Thank you for your time.
Matt Baker
Best Man, Cousin, American
